John B, our administrator LOL, and Aalborg’s #2 fan, left out “Middle Class Values” (barf!) in our Mission Statement. Anyway, here’s how the class system really works. At the bottom rung there are poor people who either can or cannot work. That would be the poverty class, and Lady Luck plays a huge hand in this. For those of you who believe it’s not luck but choice, look at it this way. If you were born healthy and with the right genes and in the right country, this is not a situation you chose. Ask any Somalian. Next up, above starving, comes the working class. If you are a plumber making good money and you think you are middle class, you delude yourself. Do you punch a clock or charge by the hour? I don’t care whether you make minimum wage or a hundred bucks an hour, you are still working class. Deal with it. Okay, so who is middle class then? People who make more money than they are worth and know it. These same people are the ones who wear nipple-eraser sports bras, bought a house too big to heat and cool, and who gave us the PC Police. Ever so fearful of their undeserved elevation and status in society, they lie awake at night hoping they never make a single mistake as their bodies relentlessly creep past the sell-by date and the warranty on the SUV runs out. Ever notice that working class folks and rich people (or those in positions of real power) don’t worry about their language or the use of 4-letter words? Or fret about how immodestly they dress, like, how short the guy’s shorts are or how bouncy the wife’s tops? Check out an upper-class tennis court or a back-lot soccer pitch. This freedom is what the wealthy and the poor have in common: the lack of social fear! It is the middle class people who torture and restrict themselves in the hope they will not lose their imaginary and fragile status. Orwell wrote of this a few times, how the middle class is scared of falling into the lower class and so they cling to the upper class for clues, yet the upper classes treat them with more disdain than they do the lower classes. There is a parallel middle-class tier, however, a professional class of deserving people. Professionals like doctors, for example. Nurses (despite being clock punchers) belong. And a level of other people who are way smarter than all of us. Architects, and a very few poets who make good money because they can actually write. Scientists who find medical breakthroughs, astrophysicists who discover new mysteries, engineers who design cell-phones — could you make a remote for your TV? — AKA rocket scientists. There are many more people like these in the middle class category but whom we can appreciate! But they are not us!